Life // October

I am currently sitting in one of my favourite little cafes in the middle of no where, thinking. You know those very rare times when something happens -it doesn’t have to be something major, but it brings your world into perspective? Yup. I had a very real conversation with one my flat mates and it left me thinking about life; she was telling me about a fact she faces daily in life and…all my heart did was sink. I mean, I was listening, and nodding, and trying to have this encouraging smile on my face, but on the inside I was feeling all kinds of sad.

It left a weird taste in my mouth because for the first time in my life, I realized that life is nothing without love, purpose, and Christ.

I kept thinking of all the expectations that life hands to us from a really young age. That we should go to school, that when we’re done school, we must do some higher level of school, and when we’re done more school, we better get our asses down to the job centre to get us a j-o-b, or better yet, a profession. The expectations of parents constantly worrying about your future which means that they push you towards the safe option, the expectation of doing the “right” thing, which a lot of the time means living in fear. Fear that we must follow the guidelines; the rulebook of surviving in society.

Then we’ve got the discouragers. The ones who have that dead look in their eyes.The ones who tell you in plain tones that you can’t do it. Whatever that ‘it’ is; they’d rather have you follow the rulebook, they’d rather have you have that same dead look in your eyes, the one they have in theirs.

I started to think about all these things as she was talking to me. I thought: “Oh my God, life is too short.” Like, whoa, life is too short to not have a hope. What my jumbling thoughts did was come to a realization. A realization that life can sometimes leave us with a bitter taste in our mouths; all the expectation and rule-following can leave us feeling a little bland. Almost like, every bit of happiness and hope is sucked out. You may be someone who is used to that blandness, someone who just does as he or she is told; someone people may call practical, you don’t question, you just do…or you may be someone like me. Someone who cannot live with that sadness in her soul; someone who has to chase after her heart. I say, whichever category you fall into as a human being; don’t be okay with the blandness. Don’t succumb to the bitterness or sadness. Find your happiness. Find your heart. Find God.There’s this short thing called life, and once you blink a couple of times, it’s over.

That is what the realization I came to, that time I had a conversation with with my flatmate.

Onto a random point, its autumn ya’ll. I am SO happy. I can’t- I can’t even. I legit have a pumpkin in my room to prove it. (Yes, I’m that girl.)

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Til next week,

Passionately,

Leanne.

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Bittersweet October

Ahh, isn’t October just lovely? I mean, I loved autumn in England but in Canada? It is absolutely gorgeous! The sun dims, the weather cools, and the leaves and trees become vibrant shades of red, gold, orange, purple and so much more. The most exciting part for me is getting my autumn on. Yes, I mean, literally getting my autumn on. Doing some shopping for trendy yet warm clothes that gives me a bounce as I walk might be one of my favourite things about autumn! I did a little shopping for the upcoming colder months (And in Canada, when I say colder months? I mean, freezing-my-arse-off and feeling-like-I-might-die. I assure you, it’s no joke.) that I am so excited to wear. Granted, they are simple but are oh so very chic. (I might have to do an Autumn haul post soon!) Fashion is a little thing I might have held unto a leetle too tightly since I moved from the UK!

Now let’s try and make the title of this blog make a bit of sense, shall we? Why is October bittersweet you may ask? Well, even though it is absolutely gorgeous out, Uni for me, is getting extremely hectic. Midterm exams are here and I have waay too many assignments due! And it doesn’t help that I sleep at 2 am everyday and wake up feeling like crap everyday. Not some days or once a week wake-up-feeling-like-crap but everyday, everyday! Yes, it is most definitely due to my lack of self-discipline and self-control but in my defense, it never feels too late at the time…till I wake up for my 8 am lecture slightly hating myself. So I basically have no worthy defense…

Anyway, I have see the error of my ways! You know it’s time to change things up when you have eye bags the size of your fist, and you don’t have the motivation to look like a human being in the morning. It’s time to get organized, stop procrastinating and spend some much needed time at Jesus’ feet!

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Passionately,

Leanne