Life // October

I am currently sitting in one of my favourite little cafes in the middle of no where, thinking. You know those very rare times when something happens -it doesn’t have to be something major, but it brings your world into perspective? Yup. I had a very real conversation with one my flat mates and it left me thinking about life; she was telling me about a fact she faces daily in life and…all my heart did was sink. I mean, I was listening, and nodding, and trying to have this encouraging smile on my face, but on the inside I was feeling all kinds of sad.

It left a weird taste in my mouth because for the first time in my life, I realized that life is nothing without love, purpose, and Christ.

I kept thinking of all the expectations that life hands to us from a really young age. That we should go to school, that when we’re done school, we must do some higher level of school, and when we’re done more school, we better get our asses down to the job centre to get us a j-o-b, or better yet, a profession. The expectations of parents constantly worrying about your future which means that they push you towards the safe option, the expectation of doing the “right” thing, which a lot of the time means living in fear. Fear that we must follow the guidelines; the rulebook of surviving in society.

Then we’ve got the discouragers. The ones who have that dead look in their eyes.The ones who tell you in plain tones that you can’t do it. Whatever that ‘it’ is; they’d rather have you follow the rulebook, they’d rather have you have that same dead look in your eyes, the one they have in theirs.

I started to think about all these things as she was talking to me. I thought: “Oh my God, life is too short.” Like, whoa, life is too short to not have a hope. What my jumbling thoughts did was come to a realization. A realization that life can sometimes leave us with a bitter taste in our mouths; all the expectation and rule-following can leave us feeling a little bland. Almost like, every bit of happiness and hope is sucked out. You may be someone who is used to that blandness, someone who just does as he or she is told; someone people may call practical, you don’t question, you just do…or you may be someone like me. Someone who cannot live with that sadness in her soul; someone who has to chase after her heart. I say, whichever category you fall into as a human being; don’t be okay with the blandness. Don’t succumb to the bitterness or sadness. Find your happiness. Find your heart. Find God.There’s this short thing called life, and once you blink a couple of times, it’s over.

That is what the realization I came to, that time I had a conversation with with my flatmate.

Onto a random point, its autumn ya’ll. I am SO happy. I can’t- I can’t even. I legit have a pumpkin in my room to prove it. (Yes, I’m that girl.)

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Til next week,

Passionately,

Leanne.

Waiting For Mr. Right.

The thing is, waiting is scary. Point-blank, period. I mean, it can be an exciting experience or an exciting emotion to feel, but to me, it’s just nerve-racking. To me, waiting means trusting in something bigger than myself. Someone, bigger than myself. How can I trust in something I don’t know will happen? Something I can’t see? But that is exactly who God is. Something I can’t see. Something I can’t see…but I know that I know that I know, exists. Waiting means giving my faith a chance to work. Giving my faith in God a chance to do amazing things.

I’ve had a couple of friends ask me why I’m still single. Why I don’t have a boyfriend. Or why I haven’t dated anyone since however long they’ve known me…and the truth is, I’m waiting. As cliche as it sounds, I am waiting for Mr. Right. But not just Mr. Right, but Mr. Loves-Jesus-with-all-his-heart. I am waiting for God’s best, because I know that when God places this guy in my life, It will be more beautiful than I ever could’ve imagined. Of course I’m human and I still doubt…

I doubt that I will ever meet this person that will pour into me as I pour into him. Who will get on his face and pray for me, as I do him. I doubt that I will meet a guy who loves Jesus with all his heart as I do. Someone who will sacrifice daily for God’s will, someone who will constantly push me towards God, and someone who will love me like Jesus does…I mean come on, it’s 2015 right?

Wrong. I mean, yes it is 2015, and yes I read a slightly depressing statistic that said that 85 percent of relationships end in break-ups,and an even more depressing face book post that explained what we call a ‘relationship’ in 2015 which was the epitome of the phrase, ‘friends with benefits’, and the fact that seemingly all the guys that ‘like’ me, have rubbish intentions… But you know what? Faith is believing in the impossible. The bible tells me that with God, all things are possible. So I choose to trust, I choose to believe, and I choose to WAIT. And while I’m waiting? I choose to serve God with all my heart, all my soul, and all my mind.

Passionately,
Leanne