I don’t know about you but my summer has been…well, trying. To say the least. I don’t like putting everything out there but if you were to read my God journal, you might get that I have been extremely down in the dumps for a while. Because I am so very private about my struggles, it’s almost like I’ve been in a little dark room for a long time with only my thoughts for company. First it was just my situation; my life, goals, career etc. Then it became the struggles my family has been dealing with. And then after that it was just one thing after the other going wrong, wrong, wrong. So what did I do?
I wallowed. In misery, I mean. Wallowing was my thing. It was me. Everyday I got up? Wallowed. Anyone say anything that I didn’t particularly like? Wallowed. Not talking to a friend? Wallowed. Boss being mean? Wallowed. Comparing my life to everyone else’s? Wallow, wallow, wallowed. It was like I couldn’t see any good thing in my life. Not one. And it’s only until very recently that I’ve realized how ungrateful I’ve been.
In Psalm 103, David says: “…Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and do not forget all of his benefits…”
Things I don’t pray for that just happen. Things that just work together for my good. The fact that I can think about all the things I don’t have means I have a brain. The fact that I wake up every morning without any issues. The fact that I can walk briskly and run when I want to. The fact that I have a family. Friends. A car that takes me where I want to go. A job. Health. Food. It may sound silly to most of us in the western world because it such a normality to have basic things… but I have recently realized how much I have. The things I haven’t asked for that has freely been given to me.
I’ve decided that there’s no more need for wallowing. No more focusing on what I don’t have. Instead, I’m going to use what I have to get what I don’t. I’m going to try my very best to wake up and have faith. (Please pray for me as I do!) To wake up and see all the benefits that surround me, and you should too.